Twilight

There is one thing I said I would never do... pick up a Twilight book. Unless you are blind or living under a rock it's pretty hard to have no knowledge of the twilight saga. The books, the movie, the memorabilia... it's everywhere. Teen girls flawk to it, squealing with delight. Grown women love it too and it has become the topic of many discussions. As the weeks, months and even years went by I had ignored all the twilight frenzy. I scoffed when others would bring it up and my husband & I enjoyed mocking those who were delighted with it. What in the world could be dazzling about Robert Pattison, or as the fans called him, RPatz? He was tall, gangly, and awkward looking with crazy hair. Definitely not my idea of attractive but apparently many were entranced by his spell.

As time went by I suddenly became curious of the whole thing, why was it so exciting? Why were so many in love, or even obsessed? I surely had to find out for my own. I added it to my netflix queue and there it sat at the bottom of my list, slowly moving towards the middle as I added more titles. Many movies jumped ahead and it would fall back down near the bottom, that is, until last week. As I searched my list for what movie to watch next I scrolled across the title. Now was as good of time as any to watch it, to see what it was all about. Surely I had no interest in reading the book, let alone all four in the series. They were each at least 400 pages, I would never make it. Not with 2 small children, a house to care for and a husband.

It arrived on Thursday and after the kids were in bed my husband and I sat down to watch it. I was mesmerized, curious, on the edge of my seat. The acting was little to be desired but the story line, oh that story line... it was hard to break away from. I smiled gayly throughout the whole movie, upset when it ended, wanting more answers, more closure, more something. I couldnt help but think about it as I laid in bed trying to fall asleep, it haunted my memory, it followed me, even throughout the next day. I was unable to think of anything else. I was a hypocrite.

After sharing my new found love with a few friends, it was recommended that I read the books. I laughed, surely they were joking. How in the world would I find time to read four, giant books? I had a stack of magazines in my room from January that werent even touched. I was far behind with my reading, my days filled with cleaning, cooking & children. My nights even more hectic, trying to keep up with my netflix, catch up with my DVR and actually get use out of my Wii. I was interested but the task seemed impossible.

A few days later was I wandering around Walmart, I somehow made my way over the books. I had no intention of looking, buying or even thinking of Twilight, but there it was, on the shelf, in plain view, drawing me in. I immediately grabbed it, looking at the others. I reminded myself that I was not much a reader, and it would take me weeks to read the first book. I was intimidated by the size. I hadnt read a book in years and the last one I did read was no more than 200 pages.

I got it home and by the grace of God both of my children were napping at the same time. I saw the book in the kitchen, it beckoned me. I grabbed it, getting cozy in the rocking chair and glancing at the clock, 1pm. With my luck the kids would be up any minute, but I opened it up and started reading. Time passed by and I was unaware, my daughter was awake, playing in the living room. I figured since she was content I could continue, and so I did. I glanced at the clock again, 5pm. WHAT? How in the world could it already by 5pm, I was reading for 4 hours, I was over halfway through the book and for some reason my son was still napping, which is incredibly rare. Then I heard him. I put the book down and start in with getting dinner ready. My husband arrived home shortly after and noticed the book. He went over to look at it and the hugest smile filled his face. I glanced over, fully prepared for the mocking, and sure enough, there was some teasing.

I sat through dinner and my mind was filled with Edward and Bella. I wanted to keep reading, to see them. I was antsy, restless, unable to wait. Finally it was bedtime which meant I had time to read. And that's exactly what I did, until I was unable to keep my eyes open any longer. As I awoke this morning, I was filled with excitement and what might happen with Bella. My morning routine of breakfast, dressing & morning nap for my daughter passed quickly. I was back in Forks, WA. I was with Bella and more importantly, with Edward. Before I knew it, I was done. I suddenly felt a sense of freedom. I was back to my normal routine. Little did I know, I was lost.

The minutes seemed to tick by slowly, I was bored. I was antsy. I was restless. I longed for Edward. I wanted his cold skin, his soft touch, his deep eye, his glances. I felt sad, and lonely. I missed him, oh how I missed him. I felt like a nut job. I was mesmerized, mystified and entranced by a fictional character. As soon as my son awoke from his nap this afternoon, we were in the car and on our way to the book store. Of course I started in on the second book as soon as I got home. It's been a few hours now and I already am longing for him. Thankfully we will be together again in a few hours but until then I need to deal with my withdrawals, without letting my husband onto me, or else he will seriously think I have lost my mind.

I feel a hint of sadness though, knowing that the end will be here before I know it. That in a blink of an eye the story will be over, and he will be gone. As for now, I cant picture my life without him, he is in every thought, every dream, every part of my brain. I have surely lost my mind.